Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
