Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
