I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
