I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
