I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
