How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
