Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
