If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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