I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
