shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
