i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
