love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
