She said her name was "party"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
