She announced her abortion via fbk
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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