Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
