I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
