He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
