That's intense
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
