There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He passed out mid-signature
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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