It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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