I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
