What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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