I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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