Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
