kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
