hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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