I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
