a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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