thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
