That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
