You smell like a Billy Joel song
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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