Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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