He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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