Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
