Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
