Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
