Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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