Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
