I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
