I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
