i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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