Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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