I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
