You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
