You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
