I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
