Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i think my cat just said my name.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
