at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
