That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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