so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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