Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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